I have really been struggling the last several months with so many things, most of which has been task paralysis brought on by my environment, more on that in another blog post.
I recently attended the League of Utah Writers annual Quills conference. As is normal for me after such an event, I found myself in a sort of information and inspiration overload. I had so much input and so much valuable and positive feedback that my brain and body needed to recover.
I took away some major self love tips besides learning that even the successful writer goes through burnout. That it’s ok to not be ok, and it’s ok to take time for yourself. It’s ok to write for yourself. Not every piece has to be the next greatest novel. But more than all of that, I saw self inflicted ableism.
The obsessive thoughts that plagued me stating, “You’re not a writer if …” In the imposter syndrome that plagued me during the entire conference. In the way, I always minimize myself, my stress, my struggles and, most of all, my neurodivergence. In the masking I do every day to put on a pleasant face, so society doesn’t think something is wrong with me. Apologizing for time blindness, RSD and hyper-focus like it is something to be ashamed of.
So, I give myself permission to write even if it sucks. To give myself freedom to do the writing adjacent things because I am still a writer even if I do not have words written on the day. I allow myself the space and time I need to refill my creative tanks with self love and acceptance of my own personal limitations. While I also recognize I only labeled these limitations because I live in a world that wasn’t built for me.
So I challenge you to check your own self-inflicted ableism at the door. It isn’t needed here. Above all, it’s okay to not be okay.
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